The Lives We Live
by Janey Lukas
Summary: Rory and Logan have a fight. She leaves, but she leaves behind something of hers. Future fic. New Chapter up....finally! Please read and review.
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing

_**Note:**_ All this is a flashback

_

* * *

Rory stood at the doorway. _

"_I can't do this Logan! I can't take it anymore!"_

"_Rory don't go, please! I can help you through this, just don't go." He reached for Rory's arm._

"_Don't touch me Logan!" She slapped his face. "Let me go Logan; its going to better for you, for me, for all of us."_

"_Rory, stay. Don't do this. Not like this." He pleaded with her, she stared him right in the face. _

"_Logan, I'll be happier this way. Don't you want me to be happy?" He did; more than anything. Logan nodded. "Then give me my happiness; let me leave."_

"_No! Rory this isn't you. Tell me what's wrong. I can help." _

"_I don't want this life. This is not what I imagined." Rory looked around at the house that Logan's parents had bought them as a wedding present._

"_Then I can give you what you want. Tell me Rory what do you want; anything in the world Rory, it's yours. You want to live in Stars Hollow; okay let's go find a house, right now. Please just don't go."_

"_I…I have to." Rory's voice had softened. "I'll have my attorney send the papers over tomorrow. I don't want anything. You can have it all."_

"_I don't want it all; I want us to share it." _

"_I can't do that." Rory turned and walked out the open door, slamming it behind her. She walked to her car. In the house Logan stood staring at the shut door; he heard the car engine turn over, the wheels slowly pull away from the front door and the gate shut behind her car. She was gone. Logan didn't have the strength to follow her; he had to be strong, strong for another. Logan turned to see the small cradle sitting in the living room, he walked over to it. There in the bed of the cradle slept his baby girl, only a year old; oblivious to the fact that her mother had just walked out of her life. _

**_

* * *

Author's Note: I know it's short but I just wanted to make sure that people would like before I posted more chapters. This is just the prologue, the real story happens in the later years. Please tell me if you like it, or if you know of another story like it. Please read and review. _**


	2. What do you want to do today?

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing but the kids.

**_Author's Note:_** You guys are good; you read my mind (about the story). To answer your question; I'm not sure if this is going to be Rogan. Right now, Rory is with Jess (I'm sorry Hopes2High); and Logan is alone. But I think (I stress 'think') that might change. Hope you like it, please read and review.

* * *

Logan watched her eat; there was nothing about her that reminded him of Rory: not her hair, not her eyes, not her smile, not her personality, nothing; she was separate. Logan wasn't sure if he was sad about that fact or not. While he didn't mind not having the constant reminder of what he had lost, he did miss the fact that the one little piece of Rory he did have, looked and acted nothing like her. Lotte sat there at the kitchen table, eating her cereal, not even noticing that her father was staring at her. She looked nothing like her mother, she acted nothing like her mother; but nonetheless she was her mother's daughter. She only ever ate healthy food – much to Lorelai's dismay – she never drank coffee; the things that Logan defined Rory as, Lotte was not. She did however have one passion that she shared with her mother: writing. Lotte had convinced her father – without much effort – to let her begin writing for his New York news paper when she was sixteen. Lotte pushed the last few oat clusters around in her cereal bowl; Logan noticed she was more spacey this morning than usual.

"So…. what you want to do today?" He had pulled Lotte out of her trance.

"Umm…. I don't know. What do you want to do?" Lotte was acting very strange, not at all herself.

"Hey. What's wrong with you? You feeling okay?" Lotte shock her head, 'shaking out the fog' as she called it; she smiled.

"Sorry. Just thinking of my next story, I can't get the first paragraph the way I want it. Maybe you could take a look at it sometime today."

"Sure." Logan was glad it wasn't something bigger; but then again, to Lotte, not being able to figure out the first paragraph to a story was pretty big. "You didn't answer my question."

"I was actually going to go shopping with Lorelai and G.G.; you can come if you want." Lotte smiled her characteristic smile, one that showed the top row of her teeth; meaning that she was playing with Logan.

"You know, I've been wanting a new camisole to go with my purple sweater." Lotte got up, laughing at her father. "What I thought you liked my purple sweater?" Lotte came over to Logan; looking down at him, she smiled.

"You know dad, I really do love you. You're just so stupid I can't help it." Logan laughed; Lotte left the room. She teased him like her mother; that was it, just that.

* * *

"MOM!" Rory opened her eyes, disgruntled; she had not been awoken the way she preferred. Rory did not get out of bed, they would come to her. Sure enough they did, jumping on the bed as they came in. "Mom? Mom? Mom!"

"What!" The two boys stopped jumping on the bed and landed on their butts; they knew she was not in a good mood; she had not yet had coffee. "Sorry, what is it that you need?"

"Ben called me stupid."

"Ben, don't call Joe stupid." She got out of bed, the boys were still sitting there; without turning around she knew what to say. "Joe, don't stick out your tongue at Ben." She put on her bathrobe and walked into the hall, it was quiet. Down the stairs she walked; Rory walked into the kitchen, it already smelled like coffee as it always did, once again Rory noticed how quiet it was. "Boys!" The two little devils ran down the stairs; they looked angelically up at their mother when they had reached the kitchen. "Where's Frankie?" The two looked at each other and shrugged. "Frankie!" It was too early for this. "Frankie, bang on something." It was sad, Rory thought, that she knew what to do. Rory walked to the hall closet, she heard the banging. She opened he door, there hanging on a coat hook was Frankie. "Boys!" She picked Frankie off the coat hook. The boys ran passed her, up to their rooms; they didn't have to be told where to go, they already knew. Rory walked back into the kitchen with Frankie hot on her heals; he didn't like to be separated from his mother, for fear of his brothers. She stopped at the closed door, across the hall from the kitchen, she pushed it open. "Jess?"

"Yeah." Jess turned in his chair to face her, his computer was on and a new novel was sitting on his desk.

"Did you know that Ben and Joe put Frankie in the closet?"

"No."

"You didn't hear anything?"

"No."

"Great." Rory closed the door and walked in to the kitchen, pouring her first cup of coffee. Frankie sat at the island watching his mother; he looked nothing like his brothers, who both looked like their father; rather he looked like Rory. She smiled, he was her hope; her hope of a normal son. "So buddy, what do you want to do today?"

"Go to the beach." Why did Rory even ask? She already knew the answer; it was always the same when she asked. Today as her day off; and once again she spending it only with Frankie. Ben and Joe had misbehaved during the week – surprise, surprise – and Jess was once again working. He was always working; at least he was happy doing it. Rory stopped, asking her self that very question: _'Am I happy?' _She knew her answer almost immediately. _'Yes.'_


	3. She might as well be

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing but the kids.

_**Background:**_ Lotte is a nickname for Charlotte. Lorelai and Chris are now married. Rory lives with Jess; they have three boys: Ben-13, Joe-10, and Frankie-6. They live somewhere in California, on the coast.

_**Author's note:**_ I don't know if this going to be Rogan. I really want it to be, but it's kind of writing itself so… I'll see. I can tell you one thing if it is Rogan, it won't happen for a while. The probability of it being Rogan is very high; because I'm not that fond of Jess, but again I don't make any promises. Please read and review.

* * *

"Dad?" There was silence. "Dad?" Logan groggily opened his eyes. There she stood above him; a smile instantly came to his face. "I'm pregnant."

"What!" Logan jumped off the couch, where he had been sleeping. Lotte laughed and took his place on the couch, she picked up the remote and turned on the TV. "You were kidding, weren't you?"

"Yep. But it's good to know your response, for when I really tell you I am."

"You know, there are easier ways to get me off the couch."

"Yeah; but they aren't as much fun." Lotte laughed to herself. "You should have seen your face: priceless." Logan sat down next to Lotte; his heart beat began to return to normal. She flipped through the channels, only spending seconds on a channel. Logan stood up, and walked to the kitchen; he came back with a bag of chips and a jar of pickles. He handed the pickles to Lotte; she smiled. "You're the best daddy ever."

"If giving you pickles is all it takes to be the best dad, then can I return your car?"

"No." Lotte had a pickle piece in her mouth. Logan laughed at her expression. He pointed to her, laughing again saying:

"Funny."

Lotte gave a fake laughed and pointed at Logan.

"Pathetic." The two chuckled and settled on watching the TV. Lotte changed the channels after every commercial break; Logan watched his daughter, he found himself doing this a lot recently, trying to make a mental picture of her; so that when she went off to college he would have something to remember. Silently, Logan compared her everyday to her mother; there was nothing similar. Logan's mind flashed a picture of Rory; she was smiling, it was right after she had give birth to Lotte, she was so beautiful, she glowed; back then she was happy. Logan wondered about Rory sometimes, but he would get so mad, he would have to stop. He was angry with her for what she had done; but still, he would forgive her. If she came back he would forgive her; he still loved her. She was the reason that it was still only he and Lotte; he had never remarried. Logan had had a few girlfriends since she had left, but he never let himself love them. He silently apologized to Lotte everyday for the fact that she didn't have a mother; he wondered if she would have been happier if he had remarried. Lotte's happiness; it was constantly on his mind. Not a moment went by that he didn't wonder if Lotte was happy. If she wasn't she hid it well. _'Would she be happy if we talked about Rory; Does she want to know about Rory; Does she have any questions?'_ She never wanted to know anything about her mother anymore; all her questions had been answered. Except one. Lotte kept one question to herself; only one person could answer it for her: Rory. _'Why?'_ That's it, one simple word: why. Lotte no longer cared where she was, or who she was with. All she wanted was an explanation; but she didn't think she could stand to be in the same room with her mother ever to get the answer to _'Why?'_.

* * *

Rory wonder if she should wake Jess. Leave him sleeping and let the boys wake him up, or see him happy to see her smiling face. Let him sleep. She was not in a good mood today; it was Monday, and today was what she now called her 'dark day'. Rory kissed the heads of her sleeping sons, before she got in her car to leave. She drove, freeing herself of everything; she stopped, pulling into a parking lot of a pier on her way to work. She got out of the car; staring off into the deep blue of the Pacific Ocean. Nineteen years ago today; nineteen years ago she found out that she was pregnant; nineteen years ago Charlotte was only a speck, just a cluster of cells. Rory never really thought of Charlotte, she would sometimes see mothers and daughters shopping and want to do that with Charlotte; but she knew she never could. She had walked out of Charlotte's life so long ago, too long ago to go back. Rory had run to Jess when she had left Logan's, she had run to the one person who wouldn't make her go back. They lived together for two years before she said they should move to the West Coast. She told him he could start another publishing company; he went, he followed her. She needed to get farther away. Jess started his new publishing company, and Rory had found work at a news paper. It was two years later when Ben came along. Jess had asked her to marry him but she told him that she didn't need a piece of paper to commit to him; he left the subject lie after that. Three years later they welcomed Joe; then another four, along came Frankie. She started thinking again about Charlotte after Frankie was born. Charlotte; Rory wondered if Logan had changed her name after she left. He had wanted her name to be Grace, but Rory had convinced him otherwise. Charlotte would be eighteen now; going off to college. Rory wondered how Logan had done with raising Charlotte by himself; had Lorelai helped him; his parents; or did he do it all alone?

* * *

"Lotte!"

"What!" Logan and Lotte were yelling up and down the stairs to each other; neither wanting to move from their positions.

"Lorelai's going to be here any minute!"

"Okay!" Lotte's voice had gotten closer to Logan. He heard her walking down the stairs. "How do I look?"

"Where are you going?"

"To a concert."

"With who?"

"Lorelai! Forget much?" She gave him a sarcastic look, but stopped when she saw he was in 'Dad mode.'

"What concert?"

"The Bangles."

"Oh." He stopped with his interrogation. _'She was going to be with Lorelai, she would be safe.'_ Logan was glad that Lorelai had taken him under her wing and helped him raise Lotte, to some extent. She was the closest thing to a mother that Lotte ever had.

G.G. walked in front of Lorelai and Lotte, she as trying to find an open coffee house.

"You know, you'd think that in New York City at least one coffee house would be open."

"We just past five that were open."

"I know but there was no one in them. That means that they aren't any good."

"It's two in the morning!" Lotte stopped walking, as Lorelai and G.G. went on arguing about the hour and the fact that not many coffee houses were open; an open café had caught her attention.

"Hey!" The two other women turned to face her. "What about that place? It's open and it's got two people in it." They all stood on the side of the street staring in at the warm glow of the café; the two people within the café were oblivious to the fact that they were being stared at. Then Lotte recognized one of them. "Look's like Uncle Finn has been…entertaining."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Lotte turned down the street and continued walking. "Alright; if we don't find a place to get coffee in five minutes, I'm giving up, and we're going to Lotte's house." Lorelai said joining Lotte along with G.G.

"I don't think my dad will be so keen on that idea."

"Nah, he knows my addiction by now; if not he's denser than I thought. I mean he lived with Ror…" Lorelai stopped herself.

"I'm okay with it, Nonny. I mean she was your daughter." _'Was.'_ The word echoed in Lorelai's mind.

"She isn't dead, Lotte." Lotte looked over at her; she stopped.

"She might as well be."

* * *

Rory sat there in the dark; Jess was asleep, the boys were asleep; it was just her. She stared at the glowing computer screen. The Google screen was hostilely staring back at her. Why was she doing it now; she had had so much time before, seventeen years, why hadn't she done it before. She positioned her fingers over the keys, and slowly typed his name: _'Logan Huntzberger.' _The screen went blank; she could turn back now, she could tell it to stop the search right now. The screen came back; the first item caught Rory's eye; _'L. Huntzberger: both heir and heiress'_ she clicked on it, even though it was two years old. The article's opening statement caused Rory's breath to quicken._'The Huntzberger line of news paper tycoons will not end with Logan Huntzberger; as some assumed. No, this week in the circle of the written word, many were shocked to see that Charlotte 'Lotte' Huntzberger, at the age of sixteen was published in her father's most respected newspaper, to rave reviews. "I was surprised that such a young girl, could have such comprehension of the world's political system; she really is a gem…"'_

She had already made a name for herself; and it was Lotte.


	4. Because

**_Disclaimer:_** You know it already.

**_Note:_** See end.

* * *

Rory stared at the screen; she heard footsteps behind her, stopping in the doorway.

"Rory?" It was Jess; he had awoken to find Rory not on her side of the bed. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." Rory didn't take her eyes off the computer screen. She felt Jess move into the room, he stood behind her.

"'Huntzberger.' Why do I know that name?"

"My ex-husband: Logan."

"Oh right. But then who is Lotte? His new wife?"

"No." She paused. "Our daughter." Jess stood speechless; she had never told him that she had another child. Rory stood up and walked passed him out of the room, she needed to escape what was about to happen.

* * *

"I think you should wear the blue."

"No, I think the brown."

"Girls, have I taught you nothing?" Lorelai walked out of Logan's closet, holding a suit. "With his eyes, he should defiantly wear the olive suit."

"The olive suit? That suit looks like baby vomit."

"Or old pea soup." G.G. and Lotte nodded; they both hated the olive suit.

"I think I'll go with the black suit, if you don't mind?"

"Daddy, please. Everyone will be wearing a black suit. You need to look distinguished, or at least important." Logan looked at the suit in his hands.

"This makes me look important. Right?" The three women didn't say anything. "Well I have four days to decide what to wear so…I'll see what else I can find." Lorelai threw a few more suits on the bed and left the room, G.G. soon followed, leaving just Lotte and Logan in the room. It was Lotte who finally broke the silence.

"Why can't I go?"

"Because you'll be bored, and I don't want to deal with a bored teenager."

"But Auntie Paris will be there, and things are never boring when she's there."

"Yes that's true; but you're still not going."

'Come on. Please daddy, how many times does a girl get to go to the MoMA?"

"You went today!"

"Fine." Lotte got off the bed. "I hope the food sucks!" Lotte stomped out of the room, and down the stairs.

* * *

"What do you mean: 'Our daughter'!"

"Jess keep your voice down, you'll wake the boys."

"No, I won't keep my voice down! If the boys have a sister they should know and I think now is a good a time as any to tell them. Don't you!"

"Jess, please." The look in Rory's eyes seemed to quiet Jess down.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"Because…I don't know… I walked out of her life."

"So, why does that stop me from knowing?"

"It doesn't, I just never wanted to talk about it, her, him."

"Rory." Jess moved towards her; trying to pull her into an embrace. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Alright." Rory paused trying to find the words. "I want to go and see her."

**_

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long, but I went on a ten hour road trip and forgot my laptop (it was horrible). Just to clarify: Jess never knew that Rory had a daughter, all he was ever told was that Rory was married to Logan and that they divorced. Rory hasn't talked to her mother, Lane, Paris, Logan, or anyone else since she left. I think that I'm going to have Lane and Zach in this (their daughter and Lotte are going to be best friends if so). Also, Paris and Doyle are going to be here and Finn and Colin I'm not sure about Steph (if she is she and Colin will be married), and Lotte is just that 'play' mad at Logan. Also, I have come to a decision: _****_This is going to be a Rogan (maybe not in the traditional sense, but either way Jess is going bye-bye). _**I know this is short, but it is just to get Rory to NYC. Please read and review. Sorry it took so long, but I went on a ten hour road trip and forgot my laptop (it was horrible). Just to clarify: Jess never knew that Rory had a daughter, all he was ever told was that Rory was married to Logan and that they divorced. Rory hasn't talked to her mother, Lane, Paris, Logan, or anyone else since she left. I think that I'm going to have Lane and Zach in this (their daughter and Lotte are going to be best friends if so). Also, Paris and Doyle are going to be here and Finn and Colin I'm not sure about Steph (if she is she and Colin will be married), and Lotte is just that 'play' mad at Logan. Also, I have come to a decision: I know this is short, but it is just to get Rory to NYC. Please read and review. 


	5. Left Behind

_I own only the new characters._

_Note: the ruler isn't working all that well for me, so I improvised. when you see the $ that means that it is happing back to back just in two diferent places._

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

Lotte starred at the ceiling. She wasn't supposed to be here. This was in essence forbidden. But yet she was here; not to spite her father, or grandmother. Hell, the only reason she was here was because it was the only place left untouched, not corrupted by… Lotte stopped herself, that wasn't the only reason she was here; this – she felt – was the safest place for her to be. A voice broke the silence.

"Does he know you're here?"

"He doesn't even know I've felt the house."

"God Lotte! Do you know what kind of situation you're putting me in?" There was a defeated thump and Lotte pushed herself up, so that she was sitting on the floor starring at the man, his head in his hands on a 'seen better days about two years ago' chair. "How long have you been here?" His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

"I guess about an hour." Her voice mimicked his in its level; he sighed again moving his head up so that only his mouth was covered by his hands. Though the room was dimly light he could still see the pain behind her eyes as he stared at her on the floor. Just her presence in the room seemed to lighten it, dwarfing the rest of the room in her beauty. He sighed again and slipped to the floor, lying on the outdated gold carpet next to her. He stretched out his arms and placed them behind his head. He closed his eyes and soon felt Lotte's partial weight on him. The two lay there in the middle of his poorly decorated apartment in silence, at peace with their world and all its faults.

€€€€€€€€€€€

Logan sat at the table, his tie long since undone, and a glass of scotch in his hand. He watched as the wait staff and movers dismantled the room around him, transforming it from the gala ballroom in to the spacious sculpture garden of the MoMA. Logan placed his scotch on the table beside him, watching it slowly be pulled away by the female waitress. She had been starring at him since she had come upon him sitting there; sure she was only a few years older than Lotte but he was the one that was drunk, not her; he was the one being taken advantage of. Logan took his glass off the table cloth and tipped it towards her winking as he did; she giggled like a little school girl and quickly pulled the rest of the table cloth off and ran away. Logan laughed to himself, he still had that power over women even though his boyish good looks had begun to fade; his hair now speckled with white flecks causing it to look a shade lighter than in his youth, the creases in his face deepening ever so slightly. A voice over his shoulder drew him from his reflection.

"Is this what 'New York's Most Eligible Bachelor' does on his Friday night?" Logan prepared to turn but stopped when he saw Finn rounding the table.

"Well I could possibly go home with that waitress over there." Logan pointed her out from across the garden; he caught her eye, she ran in one of the sculptures and turned a brilliant shade of maroon.

"The one who just ran in to the man-like thing in the corner?" Logan nodded "She's practically the same age as Lotte. You can't be serious?"

"No, I'm not. But can't I have a little fun?" Finn scanned over his friend's face; the loss, the pain, the hopelessness etched on it so deeply.

"Hey, it's still early lets go to my club and you can flirt with all the girls – that we know won't sue you in the morning. What do you say, mate?"

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

"Yeah, why not." Gulping the last of his scotch he stood up and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair throwing it over his shoulder, eyeing the last few of people in the garden, Logan walked out with Finn.

"Well, mate. I must say I thought I'd be leaving with someone tonight; I just didn't think it would be you."

Rory stood staring at the ticket counter.

"You know you don't have to go. It's not like she's expecting you or anything. You could stay here Rory." She turned to face Jess; his face silently pleaded with her to stay but she couldn't give him that.

"I'll be back in a few days; I'm going to visit my mom, Lane, and Paris; as well so... I'll call when I land." He stepped forward to give her a kiss on the lips, but she turned her head, and he ended up kissing her cheek. Rory stepped forward and received her ticket waving goodbye to Jess where he stood; the look of sadness on his face was overwhelming, but Rory kept on walking. As she sat on the plane she thought of what she was doing. She had run away to Jess when things got hard with Logan, and now she was running back to Logan because of the way things were with Jess. After the six hours on the plane, Rory arrived in the JFK airport. She felt lost; she had not been on the east coast for fifteen years. Rory navigated her passed all the people finding their loved ones, meeting old friend, and people saying goodbye for maybe the last time; found a cab and proceeded to her hotel.

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

A horn blared; the sound resonated with in the walls of Albert Boyle's. The sound woke Lotte from her sleep; the neon glow from the building across the way lit the room in an eerie wash of blue. In the deafening silence of the apartment, Lotte moved towards the door noiselessly, not wanting to wake Albie from his slumber. She quietly closed the door behind her locking it with her key. Bracing herself for the walk down the hall way Lotte glanced down to her watch: 3:30 am. As she walked down the hall, she caught the small glimpses of Albie's neighbors' lives: the women in 4D's cat liked to lay spread eagle across the hall way at night, the man in 4A had his milk delivered in the morning, and the couple that live in 4B have close to seven newspapers on their doormat – none of which were her father's. Lotte continued down the hall past the elevator to the stairs and down to the ground floor, she walked out of the lobby and down the few steps to the sidewalk. She pulled her light jacket closer to her body; not because she was cold, no, the emptiness of street was so daunting that she needed to feel fabric closer to her body to have some sense of normalcy. As she walked towards the subway entrance she seem as though she was in her own world floating in and out of the here and now. Lotte stared up at the massive doorframe; she looked around noticing that she had gotten all the way to her home. She had never really taken the time to study the doorframe of her house; it was massive, colossal, as Lotte walked towards it she felt so small. The Lotte opened door slowly and entered, afraid of what would be on the other side, but as the door was pushed open revealing more of the darkened room Lotte knew she was alone. Her father hadn't come home.

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

Rory pressed her entire body against the wall of the elevator. There was absolutely no reason for this, the elevator was empty. But Rory was compelled to this to keep her sanity. The doors opened revealing an extremely busy lobby behind glass doors. She walked slowly threw them, the reception desk spanned the wall facing her with three women behind it, wearing very expensive suits and talking into headsets. Rory approached the desk cautiously, catching the eye of the youngest secretary. She smiled.

"Hello ma'am. How can I help you?" Rory tried to refrain from cringing at the word '_ma'am_.'

"Yes. I was hoping to see Logan Huntzberger." The woman scoffed.

"Yeah, you and half of New York City." Rory turned to where the woman was now glaring at.

"Why are all those women here?"

"Didn't you read it?"

"Read what?" The women held up a copy of a magazine, with Logan's picture on it. He was laughing his eyes squinted, his mouth open showing his white teeth, and a glass of scotch posed close to his mouth as if he was about to take a drink, and there to the left of his head were the words: _Logan Huntzberger named New York City's Most Eligible Bachelor._ Rory took in the magazine as if was oxygen she had to read it all take it all in.

"Umm. Excuse me? Who shall I tell him is waiting?" Rory tore her eyes from the cover. What could she say, she could give her real name he'd have her thrown out. Rory stared to realize that she was taking far too long.

"Paris Geller." The woman seemed to accept it and look down towards her desk scanning a piece of paper.

"Please have a seat." The secretary stood up and walked to the back where she disappeared behind a wall.

Logan stared out the window of his office. The events that had transpired on Friday night he had long forgotten, they were of no concern to him; but they weren't what haunted him. The look on her face, that hollow, disgusted, revolted look, that Lotte gave him Saturday morning. She had never looked at him like that; sure he had seen that face when Finn would meet them somewhere with his new arm candy, she used that look on Finn, on her cousins, on Mitchum, on Gigi, but never on him. The slight reflection of his secretary broke the spell.

"Excuse me sir."

"Yes, what is it Sunny?"

"There's a Paris Geller here for you."

"Paris Geller?"

"Yes sir. Her name's on the list of people I'm to notify you are here, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes. Bring her in."

Logan turned to the window again. '_So she finally decided to show up._'

The young secretary came out of the back of the office. She picked up the phone and then went back to work. Rory was confused was she too supposed to sit with the rest of these women and wait to see Logan? A man walked up next to her, she looked up at him, and the secretary coughed.

"Well Ms. Geller, you're right on time for our meeting, please come this way." Rory stood up slowly and followed the man. As they rounded the wall behind the desk, there on the other side of the wall was the young secretary again.

"Thank you, Wally. Right this way Ms. Geller." The young woman walked rather quickly down the hall towards a large oak door. She opened the door and stepped aside to let Rory pass. "Ms. Geller. Mr. Huntzberger." Logan was standing next to a book shelf with his back to the pair.

"Sunny would you please bring Ms. Gilmore a cup of coffee?" Sunny looked rather confused and flicked her gaze between the two. Logan turned, a large book in his hands. "Sunny. Coffee. Please." Sunny nodded and left the room, in a bit of a hurry.

"How did you know it was me?" Rory asked still standing in the doorway.

"Paris hasn't come up here since her second heart attack; her doctor said she should stay away since she tends to get rather worked up after coming here."

"Oh… I didn't…" Rory couldn't really find what words to say, and was quite revealed when she saw Sunny walking down the hall with a tray of coffee.

"Please come in and sit down." Rory moved slowly away from the door frame, just as Sunny walked in and set the coffee tray on a table along side the wall. She began pouring Rory a cup of coffee but Logan stopped her. "Thank you, Sunny. That will be sufficient." Sunny scurried out of the room shutting the door behind her as she went.

"Logan I…" He walked to the tray and finished pour Rory's coffee and handed to her.

"I had a feeling that you would come on of these days." He walked back behind his desk and sat down opening the large book he had had in his hands when Rory walked in; he opened it. Rory now saw that it was a photo album; Logan trailed his fingers over the images. "Here look at what you left behind." He thrust the album towards her muttering something about being later for a lunch meeting and stormed out of the office. Rory could hear him stomping down the hall and out to the lobby, where she was sure, he was met by a large herd of the women waiting there. Rory leaned towards the photos and gazed down at them, they were all of a young girl. Of Charlotte in front of different buildings, riding a horse, lying amongst flowers, laughing on a swing; all pictures of Charlotte. All of her happy.

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

_Wow sorry it took me so long to post anything, the nothingness of summer distracted me. I hope you enjoy this; you won't have to wait so long for the next post ( I promise.)_

_Mavis_


	6. Changed

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Lotte and Albie.

Note: The rating was only increased because of swearing.

€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$

Logan slowly walked down the long hall to his office; the walk seemed longer than it ever had before. He wasn't sure want awaited him on the other side of the door and he wasn't really sure what he wanted to find. Rory could still be there, still pawing overall the pictures of his Lotte. But of the other hand she could be gone, gone forever, gone longer than when she left the first time. His hand gradually made its way toward the door knob, and turned then pushed in the door. There she sat like nothing had happened, like he was looking at her seventeen years ago. Yes she had never been to this office but it was like looking back in time for Logan, a shiver ran up his spine. There she was just as he had always imagined, sitting there perfect as she always was; his. But she wasn't his; no, she hadn't been his for a long time, she was someone else's now. She wasn't the woman that he love uncontrollably she had gone and become the person who was sitting in front of him now. "She's so beautiful." Logan couldn't say anything he stood there silent; unmoving. "Her eyes; are they still that eerie green?" Rory held the book closer to her face.

"Yes." It was all Logan could muster. He walked the length to his desk, but upon reaching it decided that was not where he wanted to be within the room. He stood by his desk rather confused on what to do with out looking utterly stupid, he walked over to the bookshelf on the other side of his office and removed a book, opening it and pretending to read it skimmed it for some rather interesting piece of information before deciding that he had made a fool of himself for long enough and closed the book placing it back in it's shelf. Looking up he saw that Rory hadn't taken her eyes off the photo album. Rory continued to memorized the face of her daughter, she had never seen a face that captivated her more than this one; her own daughter's. None of her son's faces had ever meant this much to her but as she turned the page to see another smiling face of Lotte, she almost felt a tear stream down her face. She looked up to find Logan standing at the bookcase watching her. "Hey, how about we go and get some coffee?" Rory just nodded.

€$€$€€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€

"So…Yale? My idea?" Lotte looked at the man sitting on the grass behind her. Albie smiled and nodded. "And this," Lotte pointed up to a large building, "didn't weigh into my decisions at all?" Albie shook his head.

"If I remember correctly you didn't even mention it." Albie stared up at the massive building, in giant letters were written the name 'Rory Gilmore.' Lotte stood in the quad on the edge of the picnic blanket staring up at the massive building before her.

"I think if I come at it from the right angle I won't notice it."

"Yeah sure…I mean if you come at it from…"

"Ah! Fuck! Who am I fooling the letters are thirty fucking feet high!" Lotte walked towards the building, she began screaming. "Fuck you, you fucking…arg…fuck you!"

"LOTTE!" Albie blotted off the blanket. "Lotte! Hey, Lotte! Lotte!" He caught up with her. "You have to come here in like two weeks, so I won't do that; unless you want everyone to think you're crazy before they actually meet you." Lotte had that fire behind her eyes that she got from time to time when she was feeling anger towards her mother. "Hey lets go back, I have some things that I need to do at work, and seeing as how I took off all of today I really think I should get them done."

"Okay." Those were the only words that Lotte said until they got back to Albie's apartment. Lotte walked up the stairs behind him and a few steps behind him as he walked down the hall and when he opened the door to his apartment she stood at the doorway and looked in. Safe: that was the only word that she could use to describe Albie's apartment. The styling left much to be desired, but she still love it because it had nothing to do with her father, grandmother or her mother; this place was where she could be completely her. The her she only could be with Albie.

€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$

Sorry that it took me so long but i had some of this chapter floating around for awhile and I had to get it down even though there wasn't alot. i believe that the next chapter of the story will be longer I just wanted to get this down before I lost it.

I decide to make this chapter short and give a background/recap of the story for those of you who were wondering (this is going to be explained later in the story or at least referenced).

Rory is not married to Jess, but does have children with him. She is an editor of a paper in California. She has a happy life with her children but doesn't feel completely fulfilled with Jess (not meant sexually).

Logan is editor of his father's biggest newspaper, in New York. He has since taken over the business. He is also the owner of many newspapers across the nation and a few abroad. The newspaper that he is at was not the one he was working at when he and Rory were married. After Rory left Logan moved he and Lotte to the city, because he couldn't bear to live in the house that reminded him so much of Rory. He has dated around a lot, but has never remarried. He hasn't been much of a drinker since Rory left and the only reason that Lotte was angry with in the last chapter was because he wasn't home at three in the morning meaning that he had gotten so wasted that he didn't want Lotte to see him that drunk.  
Lotte is a confused girl. She is torn between who she thinks her family wants her to be and who she really is. She is deeply affected by the fact that Rory left and the only reason she doesn't talk about how she feels with her family is because she doesn't think they understand her. She doesn't let many people into her own world, she is also slow removing her father from her world/inner circle, not like she is not talking to him just that she doesn't trust him completely. She has many trust issues and also doesn't like many of her 'family' (Finn is a 'family' member since he is her one of her godfathers; Colin and Zach are the other two) members. She keeps the fact that she has a boyfriend secret from her family.

Albie (Albert Boyle) is Lotte's boyfriend he is also the bastard son of Finn Rothschild. Finn and Albie's mother had a series of one night stand ending in Albie's conception. Finn was not the stand up kind of guy who 'did the right thing,' rather he has distanced himself from his son almost entirely; this is one of the reasons that Lotte first went to Albie for comfort which started their relationship. Finn and Albie have never truly gotten to know each other over the years and Albie has a deep-seeded hatred towards him for, not only the fact that he left his (Albie's) mother alone with a small child, but also because he never wanted to get to know his own (and only) son.


	7. I'm Coming

They sat in the car. Simply that; they sat, neither said anything they never did after events like that. Lotte stared out the windshield. Albie would have said something if he had known what to say, but he kept quiet; deadly so, not wanting to pull Lotte out of her thoughts prematurely. "I don't want to go back there." Lotte's voice broke the silence.

"Yale? I think that's going to be pretty hard seeing as how that's where you're going to be going to school next year."

"No; not Yale. His home." It was blunt she didn't need to tell Albie who 'he' was, Albie knew. Nothing more was said for the rest of the ride. They entered the city and slowly made their way towards his apartment. Lotte stepped out of the car, she watched as she placed her foot on the ground, so gently as if she was treating it like a crystal vase. Albie took the blanket out of the trunk and walked around the car to see what was wrong with Lotte; she had gotten out of the car and was now staring up at the building. In an almost inaudible whisper Lotte said: _home_, before walking into the lobby of the apartment building. Albie hadn't heard the whisper and continued after her, they passed the pieces of his neighbors' lives that they could see from their 'white house tour' of them. Lotte stopped before the door almost bracing herself for what was to come, even though she knew what was going to be on the other side. There in the living room would be the chair outdated chair that she had found while in the Village, the refrigerator door coffee table, the sleeper couch that was given to Albie's aunt as a wedding gift, then passed the rest of the living room furniture would be his desk that was constantly covered with photo negatives and test strips. On the other side of the room was the coat closet, which Albie had transformed in to a very small darkroom, for the times when he couldn't get in to work. Passed all of that was the bedroom with the persistently unmade bed, sheets bundled at the bottom of the bed, clothes about the floor and every which way, then the bathroom one of the few places – the other being the kitchen – that Albie kept remarkably clean. Albie stood in the door way slightly confused as why Lotte hadn't moved from her position. Shaking out the fog, Lotte walked in to the apartment; leaving behind her life from before, she shut the door behind her not letting her life follow. Albie was in the kitchen that had not been updated since the fifties, his head in the fridge.

"You want anything? Water, beer, juice?" Albie withdrew his head from the fridge to see her answer, Lotte just shook her head. Albie pulled out with a beer in hand and walked over to the couch where Lotte had settled herself, as he passed he placed a kiss on the top of her head and continued on to his desk. Lotte sat there still unmoving; she looked so out of place even though she knew this was the place she was supposed to be. A china doll that had been put in and amongst the much beloved rag dolls. Her bag made a small tune; she knew that tune, that was his tune. She still didn't move.

* * *

"Hmmm. She isn't answering her phone."

"Is that normal?"

"For Lotte? Yeah, I wouldn't say it was completely out of the ordinary."

"It would have been nice to meet her today. But I guess I don't really set what day we meet; she does." Rory paused as she noticed Logan glancing at his watch. "Well, I should let you get going I've taken up all of your time…Would you look at that, it's practically dinner time. Well call me when she decides if she wants to see me."

"Do you have plans?

"What?" Rory stopped half way out of her chair.

"Do you have dinner plans?"

"Uhhhh. Actually no, I don't. I was just going to go back to the hotel…"

"Come eat dinner with me." Logan pleaded up at Rory, his eyes betraying him.

"Okay."

* * *

"She sounds so interesting. Oh, now I have to meet her." Dinner was coming to an end, and Rory now knew just about everything that she could possibly know with out meeting Lotte.  
"I've told you everything about mine and Lotte's life, now tell me about yours." As Rory enlightened about the years in which she had disappeared. She felt as if the time they had spent apart was now slipping away and they were old friends just telling the days events. This felt right to her. Rory felt completely herself at that moment. There was no playing a game, there was no pretending; she could just be.

* * *

Lotte stared at the ceiling. The window was open and it rippled the sheets; she rolled away from Albie's arms and sat up, she let the sheet slip slightly before she grabbed it and pushed her self out of bed the curtains in the bedroom blocked the blue light from lighting her way, but she didn't need it she knew her way she knew where each piece of clothing had landed and where each piece of furniture was located. She needed no map, she needed no light. Stepping to the closet in the room she took out a robe and dropped the sheet. Shuffling to the living room Lotte looked around this was now her place to be, this was her only place now; she needed no clearance from Albie to call this home, he had started to expect as such the year before and at that point told her his home was hers and had given her the key.

"Lotte? Is that you?" Albie stood in the door way he was naked and didn't really seem to notice.

"Yeah, it's me." Albie began to make his way closer to her, but she stopped him with a firm hand motion.

"Are you okay? You've been acting strange all day, is there something wrong? Are you sick? Are you…?" Albie stopped himself on the last one; hoping that if he didn't finish the sentence it wouldn't be true.

"Pregnant?... No, I'm not pregnant." Lotte could almost feel the breath that Albie exhaled in relief. She sniggered at his relief. "Well now I know what kind of reaction you'll have if I ever am." Albie held out his hand.

"Come back to bed. I've gotten cold." Lotte didn't move. "What's wrong? Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to guess?" Lotte turned to face him a small smile on her face him. Her eyes full of a sadness that had been growing behind them over time and had chosen now to reveal it's self.

"I'm coming."

* * *

Note: So I've written another chapter, it took me a while. 'Why?' you ask because I have discovered that I only like to write at midnight and can only find time for this when I really don't want to do homework ( like tonight). I would like feedback on the story format: is this nice, is it confusing? I'd really like to know what you like to read, also any suggestions on the next events ( I do have a way that Rory is going to meet Lotte – the next chapter – but I'd also like to know how you think it should go). As usual, please read and review and if you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them.

Mavis

P.S. The 'white house tour' is from the episode where Luke takes his boat back.


	8. Simulated Rain

The artificial rain pounded all around. Hitting the tiles and splashing back towards her in a secondary spray, much cooler than the first. She could hear the door creak open just enough to make a cold breeze waft in.

"Lot?" The voice drifted past the fog, and through the curtain it seemed to bounce of the walls at Lotte causing the voice to almost overwhelm her. "Lotte?" Albie's voice pulled her completely from her daze. "Your phone's ringing, or at least it was." She could tell that he was now staring at the little screen on the front of the phone that told her she had missed a call. Lotte said nothing she didn't have to Albie knew what each of her silences meant they were the words that only he knew. "I'm going in to work, so I'm going to leave it right here. It's on the sink. Okay?" Again only the pounding of the rain could be heard in the bathroom. "I'll see you around five or six, okay?" He closed the door after wait a few moments, Lotte soon turned off her simulated rain and stood dripping on the bathmat. She sat on the toilet seat wrap in a towel the room was filled with the scent that Lotte most closely identified with Albie. She stared at her phone almost knowing what it was going to do, and at that moment the little screen lit up revealing the clouds that were hidden to all quickly and replaced by his name and icon. She stood up and through the phone in the trash as she exited.

* * *

Logan sat in his office Lotte's voice mail had greeted for the eighth time and he shut the phone. "Are you ready to go?" Rory stood in the doorway of his office looking at him with the smile that made him forget all about what had so consumed his thoughts a moment ago.

* * *

So this has been on my computer since Feb. and I can decide which way I want to go with it so I'm leaving it up to you guys who ever is still reading this story. There are two options of what is going to happen: 

**1.** Lotte and Albie move away and live a life away from New York then come back and Lotte sees that right as she leaves her father and mother get back together (true in both options). I want to go with this one more because not only is there the problem that Lotte and Rory face but also new ones that Lotte faces with Logan.

**2.** Lotte stays away for only a few days or a week, it drives Logan crazy. Logan finally catches when she comes back to the house to get stuff and the story goes on from there.

My feeling is that #1 would be the best one to go with but I want to know what you think.


End file.
